Tamale Mirundi Once Said… See Famous Tamale Mirundi Quotes

Former presidential press secretary Joseph Tamale Mirundi died on August 13. He was a famous commentator on political issues in the country. His shows on radio, TV and online were popular and Tamale Mirundi quotes continue to be referred to.

His statements were popular, becoming instant quotes. We have gleaned the following quotes from the shows he appeared on and from several sources across the media:

Unique… I am very unique. I started talking at six months and my father wanted to throw me away but my mother refused.

On post-1980 Uganda… If we have someone in Uganda someone who protested the 1980 elections, went to the bush and was widely condemned, why didn’t he use legal channels?

On Methods… If you harass your pregnant daughter and she ends her life, then another one becomes pregnant, do you use the same method?

On Family Planning… I don’t believe in family planning. I am the ninth born out of 11 children. If my mother had stopped at two children, would you have seen me?

On former Prime Minister Amama Mbabazi and NRM, government:  Mbabazi is like a builder who, while building, made sure the house is so weak that when he returns, it is easy for him to break it.

On rising up from less to more… I am a tough man: a man every one fears, a man who can quarrel and fight. I am also a self-made man who fought my way from absolute poverty into the privileged class.

On matters of size… A girl can only frown upon a man’s size if she has never been forced into the act before.  

On beauty… If God gives a girl beauty without brains, it’s the private part which suffers most.

On former ethics minister Miria Matembe’s toughness… If Miria Matembe is a strong woman, why didn’t she give birth with her underwear on?

On delaying to get married… If you are a woman you have attended more than 15 weddings this year and you are still single… not yet married… Are you a cake or a tent?

On common sense… When a boat accident happens and you see a crocodile rushing to the scene, do not ever think think it is coming to save lives.

How can you ask a Muslim whether he or she wants to be served fried or roasted pork?

You cannot say the Bishop asked all pure girls to show up and a Nnalongo [Luganda for mother of twins] showed up!

Never be scared if an im*oten* man sits next to your wife!

When thieves break into your house and your wife says, ‘dear husband, make sure they don’t enter the third bedroom,’ just know that she is part of them and their plot.

How can a thief be the one to advise you on the kind of padlock to put on your house’s door?

You cannot say a man who has been hungry the entire day is the one who spoilt the toilet paper.

A priest cannot fundraise for a witchdoctor’s shrine!

If you are a poor man and you date a rich man’s house girl, never make a mistake of making her pregnant or else you will have nowhere to eat food.

If indeed, you are a Muslim and the price of pork rises, why do you join those striking?

On fools treading where angels dread… If a Nnalongo [Luganda for mother of twins] leaves a lodge limping, then you should not send there a girl who has never known a man.

Drunk, go home… If you go to a bar and want to know when to go home, spot girls you don’t consider beautiful and if they start looking beautiful, it’s time for you to go home.

On radios, men and women… Some men don’t know how to *** women.. They only play with their ni**les as if they are switching radio stations.

On defending president Museveni… I am the president’s dog. I attack anyone who dares to come near his fence.

On his presidential press secretary job… The job was like a flight where you find yourselves aboard and if the plane gets a problem, you all perish. We all have different journeys and that was mine.

On might… If it were about showing might and power, in-laws would go to the bride’s family for introduction with no clothes on.

You can read more on Tamale Mirundi Cause of Death Here.